This is a story from my friend Sessananie. What's most frightening is that most of this is true. Well, the parts are true, but they're all from different stories. And it's exaggerated some. Anyway....
hmmmmmmmmm

there was once this guy....who rode his bike to work...let's call him Bob. and one morning he set out on his usual trek....only to find himself in the dangerous path of a maroon 85 Honda Accord that lacked a front grill and whose license plate was crooked but he very narrowly escaped death at the hands of a very precocious redheaded driver who screamed obscenities out the window as she passed and so this man proceeds to work...a little shaken but none the less okay.

when he arrives at his office...he removes a staple gun from his satchel as well as a stack of flourescent pink papers. he proceeded to wind his way around the office cubicles stapling the papers to the outside of certain individuals cubicles. on the paper was written a single word "ASS"

his fellow employees noted this strange behavior and asked the man if he had taken his medication that morning. Bob replied that he had, that he was perfectly sane. He explained that he was marking the cubicles as such so that the aliens from the mother ship would know which individuals to take for painful, permanently damaging, hemorroid inducing, ass probing.

The obviously mentally disturbed Bob, having completed his assignment as given to him by the aliens in a dream form, walked casually to the starbucks on the corner and ordered himself a skinny no whip mocha.

Moments after he settled himself with his coffee and the morning paper, two gentlemen in white coats with a large straight jacket entered the starbucks. They quickly captured the man and loaded him in to the van. What the white coated men did not know was that Bob could dislocate both his shoulders and manuever himself out of a straight jacket.

Bob quickly escaped and with a single blow to the neck, collapsed both his captors esophoguses.

Bob commandeered the van and drove off into the sunset.

Rumor has it he's studying the flow rate of ketchup at the University of Idaho.

The End.

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