III. How Low Will You Go?

Have you:

told bad jokes?

made puns?

accidentally made puns?

made puns on obscenities (e.g. 'knock knock.' 'who's there? ' 'fornication', 'fornication who' 'fornication like this you should wear a black tie')?

flubbed a punch line?

told a joke knowing that you had forgotten the punch-line?

worked at a fast-food place?

worked at a fast-food place for over a year?

worked at a fast-food place for over three years without at least becoming a manager?

held a grudge (sort of soft and squishy)?

recited limericks?

recited dirty limericks('There once was a man from Nantucket/Whose dick was so long...')?

written dirty limericks?

served cheap booze?

passed cheap booze as the expensive stuff?

not paid your library fines?

borrowed a book under someone else's name just so you wouldn't have to give it back?

lied?

lied to somebody at somebody else's request?

lied about your sexual preference to avoid a date?

committed adultery (technically it's only if you were married, but counts if you weren't)?

started a fight?

started a bar fight?

started a brawl?

started a riot?

started a war?

started a nuclear war?

instigated a raid (panty or otherwise)?

instigated a border raid?

instigated a border war?

watched Benny Hill, Monty Python, Dr. Ruth, or Talk Soup?

watched primetime soaps?

watched primetime soaps regularly (every week, day, whatever)?

watched primetime soaps regularly and felt stupid (i.e. you hate Melrose Place, but end up watching it every week anyway)?

considered romance to be whatever gets him/her out of his/her clothes?

considered anything more than a towel 'overdressed'?

considered living together without benefit of clergy or legal sanction not a sin (can't live in sin if you don't believe in it)?

not respected the sanctity of living in sin (e.g., hit up on someone regardless of whether they lived with another)?

implied greater (non-sexual) experience than you actually possessed?

implied greater sexual experience than you actually possessed?

implied lesser (non-sexual) experience than you actually possessed?

implied lesser sexual experience than you actually possessed (lying to parents doesn't count)?

not thought it promiscuous having different partners annually?

not thought it promiscuous having different partners monthly?

not thought it promiscuous having different partners weekly?

not thought it promiscuous having different partners daily?

not thought it promiscuous having different partners at a time?

had sex with someone whose name you didn't know at the time?

had sex with someone whose name you still don't know?

had sex with someone whose name you don't remember?

had sex with someone whose name you don't want to know?

had sex with someone whose language you don't (or didn't) know?

had sex with someone whose face you never saw?

had sexual activity (not necessarily intercourse) with someone ten or more years younger than you?

had sexual activity with someone ten or more years older than you?

had sex (penetration) with someone half your age?

had sex with someone twice your age?

had sex with someone for revenge (on them, on their current or ex-, on your current or ex-)?

been thought to have installed a 'take-a-ticket' machine (as in 'now serving number...')?

felt that it would be a good investment to install a condom machine on your wall?

gone to a motel for the sole purpose of sexual activity?

traveled to another city for the sole purpose of sexual activity?

lied about how old you were for purposes of sexual activity?

lied about how old you were to obtain alcohol?

lied about how old you were for the hell of it?

broken your word, vow or promise?

told someone you loved them when you did not?

not told someone you loved them when you did?

been nice to someone in hopes of having sex with them?

been mean to someone in hopes of having sex with them?

told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted sex with them?

fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than the one present during sexual activity?

fantasized during sexual activity that your partner was of the opposite gender (than THEY were)?

fantasized during sexual activity that you were somebody else?

fantasized during sexual activity that you were of the opposite gender?

fantasized during sexual activity that you were of another species?

fantasized during sexual activity about Smurfs (or any cartoon character)?

faked orgasm (guys too)?

been caught faking?

caught someone faking?

not cared if they were faking or not?

told them they were great when they weren't?

told someone that their sexual skill was 'lacking'?

intentionally 'eavesdropped' while others were engaged in sexual activity?

blown snot rockets?

blown snot rockets onto someone?

blown snot rockets onto someone during sexual activity?

plotted conspiracy?

plotted murder?

plotted a parabola or hyperbola?

shown erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movies or videos to get someone else in the mood?

shown erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit movies or videos to get yourself in the mood ('oh, shit, you again?...where's my porno?)?

used alcohol to lower someone else's inhibitions about sexual activity?

used alcohol to lower your inhibitions about sexual activity?

used another drug to lower someone else's inhibitions about sexual activity?

used another drug to lower your inhibitions about sexual activity?

dipped into capital (been unable to live on one's investment income. If you have to ask the answer is 'no.')?

kited checks?

used credit cards without the owner's consent or knowledge?

traded stock on inside information?

traded stock on blind luck?

ignored someone because you didn't want to admit you had sex with them?

been ignored by someone because they didn't want to admit that they had sex with you?

ignored someone because you weren't sure if you had sex with them and you didn't want to know?

wanted something or someone that someone else has, simply because they have it and you don't (coveted)?

gone on a date in one night with two or more people with each person unaware of the other(s)?

gone on a date in one night with two or more people with all aware of the other(s)?

gone steady with two or more people with each person unaware of the other(s)?

gone steady with two or more people with all aware of the other(s)?

implied having had sex with someone when you hadn't?

denied having had sex with someone when you had (not telling your parents is merely survival)?

gossiped?

gossiped about yourself?

had a 'sex contest' with friends?

lost a sex contest?

won a sex contest?

lied to be declared winner of a sex contest?

been in military service?

been denied (for whatever reason) admittance to the military?

woke up in the military service (often accompanied by a severe hangover)?

put an ad in the persons to persons?

put an ad for a sex partner?

gotten one?

advertised for a sex partner including a photograph?

advertised for a sex partner including a photograph of 'strategic body parts'?

answered an advert for a sex partner?

exited through a window because someone came home unexpectedly?

taken someone someplace to be seen in their company?

taken someone someplace to be seen in their company by someone in particular?

taken someone someplace specific so as not to be seen in their company?

beaten someone severely for no reason (ala A Clockwork Orange)?

been in a wet T-shirt contest?

won a wet T-shirt contest?

judged a wet T-shirt contest?

been in a whose-better-physically-equipped contest (guys or girls)?

won a whose-better-physically-equipped contest (zzzip...'thud')?

participated in a 'sword-fight' with yours or somebody else's naughty bits (use your imagination)?

given your kids unusual names based on puns (Shanda Lear, Laurel Ann Hardy)?

given your kids unusual names in general (Dweezel)?

named your child after a porn star (John Holmes Smith, Amber Lynn Cunningham, etc.)?

named your child after a porn star without the other parent knowing the origin of the name?

given your cat, dog or other furry-type animal a mohawk or a punk hairdo?

gone to a scary movie?

gone to a scary movie as an excuse to get close to someone?

fed someone 'treif' (non-kosher food.)?

mixed meat and dairy?

eaten 'treif'?

eaten during daylight during Ramadan?

eaten red meat on Friday?

eaten horse meat?

eaten human meat (actually swallowed and eventually digested it)?

fed someone dog food?

fed a vegetarian meat without their knowledge?

been in a gross out contest?

been in a gross out contest, and won?

hired someone more for their looks?

wife-(or husband) swapped?

wanted to trade them in for a working model?

been willing to trade 'em off cheap?

flirted with relatives?

flirted with in-laws?

told somebody something 'for their own good'?

told somebody something supposedly 'for their own good,' but you really just wanted to hurt their feeling or piss them off?

had sex using birth control pills?

had sex using a condom , diaphragm or other barrier method?

had sex using a polyurethane male condom (Avanti)?

used a Reality Female Condom (try them, they're great)?

had sex without the use of a birth control method more effective than prayer (Oh, God, don't let me/her get pregnant)?

had sex without the use of even prayer (they call people who do this frequently 'parents')?

had sex with no protection, but then used the 'morning after pill'?

had sex with the 'pull-out' method of birth control?

pulled out and come in his/her mouth (or had someone pull out and come in your mouth) so as to not have to clean up afterwards?

had (or taken someone to have) an abortion?

paid for an abortion (purchasing RU486 and the like counts)?

performed an abortion (pennyroyal tea and the like counts)?

welshed on a bet or wager?

offered sexual favors as payoff for a wager?

been refused ('I think I'd rather have my dollar back.')?

offered another person's sexual favors as payoff for your wager?

offered another person's sexual favors for no good reason?

feared that you might be (or caused someone to be) unintentionally pregnant?

found out that you were (or caused someone to be) unintentionally pregnant?

drooled on someone?

had someone drool on you?

paid someone to drool on you?

always accepted sex (never refused it regardless of race, creed, color, religion, age, gender, condition, or politics)?

accepted sloppy seconds (it's better than nothing)?

had sex with someone who was merely doing you a favor?

coerced someone into having sex with you (you were going to be impossible to be with unless your hormone level was lowered)?

offered sex for money or other consideration (a better grade, raise, drugs, etc.)?

accepted sex for money or other consideration (a better grade, raise, drugs, etc.)?

demanded sex for money or other consideration ('Put out or walk' / 'I'll scream if you don't' are but the more blatant forms)?

cashed in your soda-pop can lids (the ones that if you get it off the can in once piece you get a free fuck)?

been offered a sympathy fuck?

accepted a sympathy fuck?

offered a sympathy fuck?

had someone accept your offer of a sympathy fuck?

offered a sympathy fuck, and been rejected (time to go back to the masturbation section)?

drank all but the last quarter inch from the milk carton or water bottle and put it back in the fridge (so you wouldn't have to refill it)?

woke up the next morning with the computer keyboard on your pillow (you might be programming too much)?

tried to convince your partner that intercourse would help prevent/relieve cramps?

tried to convince your partner that oral sex was good for the complexion?

considered sperm a protein supplement?

questioned someone about their sex life when they were incapable of not answering (e.g. they were truly wasted, or talking in their sleep)?

questioned your other half about their sex life when they were incapable of not answering?

used whatever they said against them?

read somebody's diary without his/her consent or knowledge?

searched somebody's room/house without his/her consent or knowledge?

attempted to corrupt someone's morals?

attempted to corrupt someone's morals and discover it is too late?

attempted to corrupt someone's morals only to discover they know things you don't?

used a hair dryer in the shower (even though the little tag explicitly says not to do it)?

not worn a helmet on a bicycle?

not worn a helmet on a motorcycle?

given someone a wedgie?

hung someone by their underwear on a doorknob (or other hook-like thing)?

received a wedgie?

been hung on a doorknob (or other hook-like thing)?

given someone an atomic wedgie (that is a wedgie so deep that the victim's underwear waistband is pulled over his/her head)?

received an atomic wedgie?

given a shoe wedgie?

received a shoe wedgie?


[you must start at the beginning to be scored]


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