IX. - Julia Child, Eat Yourself Out

(Kitchen Utensils and Power Tools - 54 Questions)

Do you own, or have you ever owned, the following:

  1. a manual can opener?
  2. an electric can opener?
  3. a spaghetti strainer?
  4. a variable-speed blender?
  5. a manual mixer?
  6. an electric mixer?
  7. a really, really big spoon?
  8. a fondue fork?
  9. corn on the cob holders?
  10. a turnip twaddler?
  11. an ice-cream scooper?
  12. chopsticks?
  13. a whisk?
  14. salad tongs?
  15. a salad shooter?
  16. a salad scooper?
  17. a veg-o-matic?
  18. an electric juicer?
  19. an espresso or cappuccino machine?
  20. a tea-leaf strainer?
  21. a socket wrench (English)?
  22. a socket wrench (metric)?
  23. a screwdriver (Flathead)?
  24. a screwdriver (Phillips)?
  25. an electric screwdriver?
  26. an electric hammer?
  27. an electric dog-polisher?
  28. a gasoline-powered turtle-neck sweater?
  29. a tackle box?
  30. a tackle box that could easily be described as "huge"?
  31. a metal spatula (NOT a flipper. There's a difference. A spatula is long, skinny, and NOT bent)?
  32. a rubber spatula?
  33. a pocket fisherman?
  34. a power drill?
  35. a Dremel tool?
  36. a chain saw?
  37. a flame thrower?
  38. a mig welder?
  39. a soldering gun (not just one of those cheap soldering pens...we're talking big thing with a trigger)?
  40. a jack-hammer?
  41. a bulldozer?
  42. a bobcat (vehicle or animal)?
  43. a crane (bird or vehicle)?
  44. a wrecking-ball?
  45. Have you ever drunk milk out of a beer stein?
  46. Have you used a spatula for flogging purposes?
  47. Do you fantasize about new and unusual utensils or tools?
  48. Do you become excited when you enter a kitchen?
  49. Have you had an orgasm from the thought of cooking a particular recipe?
  50. Do you become excited when you enter a work-room?
  51. Have you ever used a jig saw for masturbatory purposes?
  52. Have you used any of the above for masturbation?
  53. Have you used any of the above for any sexual practice?


  54. Have you ever owned The Spatula (if you have to ask, the answer is 'no')?


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